Saturday, 7 November 2015

My Traumatic Fortnight

You may (or may not) have noticed that I've been very quiet on here lately, and that's because so much stuff is happening in my life at the moment which has been crazy. I feel the urge to offload so this may be a long one!

Let's start with nan. I adore the woman to pieces but her memory has declined a lot over the last few years and this year it has been noticeably bad. She's a stubborn lady and refuses to accept that this is happening of course, and remains in denial that she is able to care for herself and her home without any help.
After taking her to scans and tests, she had another fall (she has hundreds) and was this time hospitalized as she was very confused and appeared to have had a stroke.

During her time in hospital we got the results that she has Alzheimers. One of the worst types of dementia in my opinion and whilst it breaks my heart, I am hoping this diagnosis will mean she will have to start accepting help from us and professionals.

Whilst she was in hospital, my mum was then rushed to hospital in the middle of the night as she was very ill and wasn't keeping anything down. I sat with her in the A&E for the whole night before she was then taken to intensive care with kidney failure and other problems.

She remained there for the last week and only a couple of nights ago she was put onto a regular ward. They are still not clear why this happened but it triggered a lot of other health problems due to her long-term illnesses so it has been a really tough time.

My mum is pretty much my rock and my world, so for her to have been in hospital for nearly two weeks and for most of that she hasn't been conscious, it's been tough.

I've been on autopilot for most of the time and just been doing the usual daily routine with Chunk, keeping up my fitness (maybe this has been a way to release stress) and just trying to live day by day. Now my mum is starting to improve I find myself finally feeling quite low about everything.

The last couple of days I have just felt so so down, lethargic and I have no patience with anyone. Thankfully Chunk is not with me this weekend as I feel like I need to kick myself up the butt and sort my head out otherwise I'm no use to him or anybody else.

The rainy, dark, cold weather isn't helping my mood either, nor the fact that I'm broke and Xmas is fast approaching, but I am determined to snap myself out of this self-pitying rubbish and pronto.

Any tips would be gratefully received!!!


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4 comments :

  1. I don't have any tips! Just wanted to send some love and hugs and say I am thinking of you and your family! You have had so much to deal with no wonder you are feeling down. I think anyone would! Take care and hang on in there x

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  2. Ah thank you so much Kim, that means a lot!

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  3. Hey Claire, Im a single mum too and I feel you when you say your mum is your rock. I dont know about any tips, but I can only tell you what people often say to me when times are dark. "This too shall pass". The dawn will rise again, and this stressful time will pass. In the mean time I think rest as much as you want or need, love yourself more, cry if you need to and breathe a huge sigh of relief knowing you are not alone. We are with you. <3

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    Replies
    1. thank you so much for this, those words mean a huge amount!

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